Monday, 30 October 2017

With Great Power comes Great Responsibility




With the latest Marvel movie about to hit the screens on 3rd Nov'17, I am being personally tutored to understand the background stories and specific super powers of the various characters in movie. I love super-hero fantasy movies as much as the person next to me, save my mom who doesn't understand what the whole fuss is about! I was so aggravated at having to explain to her that the man on screen could burn holes with his vision, fly and lift loads the size of the earth while kissing his girl. And yes, yes that's a DC movies hero, I know! Hmm, when I know all this why are my kids hell-bent on tutoring me? Just so that I don't nag them while watching the movie about, who's this, why is his hair short, didn't he have an evil brother, why are they friends now, what's his power exactly....!! Yes, life has come a full circle, I am now a certified, pesky, under-informed parent myself.

Hmmph! Little do those brats know of the in-house super-power! Arghh, no I don't mean the dad! Well, he does have this incredible power - To go into REM sleep state in less than 2 seconds. But no, I am talking of a much more technologically advanced being...moi!

Raised eyebrows, disbelieving smile, a snigger, oh yes, I can imagine you're doing all of that. But what can I say, it just happens to be the truth.

Curious are you?
Well, might as well be out with it, this post is after all meant to uncover the new challenge to Gal Gadot and any other Guy Gods!
So, wait for it, I have this amazing, Power of Technology Manipulation and Disruption (PTMD)! Wow or what? You no comprenez? Okay lesser mortals, it is the power to disrupt electronic/electromagnetic signals.

I've been doing it unknowingly for years, blaming it on everything from freakish coincidences to plain sabotage. But with age comes wisdom (duh!), so I eventually caught on. What exactly does this power do, you wonder? Well in lay terms, I can tamper with electronic gadgets anywhere within a radius of 5-10 feet of me. Currently, my powers are limited to disabling devices/ gadgets but I am sure there will be a yang to every yin, and it is just a matter of time before this super-mom hones and fine-tunes her power to desired results. Imagine with a swish of my hand, all gadgets come to life, purring in a contented hum...instead of dying on me!

I fondly recollect how it all started; with simple feats of the tubelight fusing out when I switched it on, the hot plate getting short circuited, the doorbell falling off when I rang. Aww, the wonder years! Over the years, I have bamboozled desktops, laptops into crashing irrevocably, camera memory cards getting corrupted, mobile phones losing battery charge faster than you can take a leak, the entire house fusebox breaking down....and so on. 

It is hard not to brag, but since I've started the ball rolling, let me proceed. I believe my powers have now expanded sufficiently to operate remotely. I can jam TV channels! Yes, it is true! I just need the intent. I just need to relax, settle down to view a program, and unconsciously enjoy it. Voila, the channel just blacks out. All other channels will work perfectly, save for the channel I  want to view. Mind you, this is not a one time event! I have achieved this consistently over several channels, service providers through so many years now! Ahh, the travails of having super-powers, of having to sacrifice watching and enjoying movies with the family! 

Speaking of family, a burden I hold to my chest is the fact that I haven't come out about my secret with them. You know how it is, Spiderman, Superman, Batman, all these chaps keep their super-hero lives a secret from family, to protect them. Well, I am keeping the secret from my family to save....myself from their wrath! After all, it doesn't hold you in good stead to reveal that you are the reason the laptop crashes so often along with the long line of gadgets that keep falling sick, sometimes fatally so! When any such calamity strikes, we all wisely nod our heads in resignation and say, "We are fated to bad luck with all gadgets!"

Much as I fancy sporting a fancy, non-latex-custom-made-for-Indian-sizes, super hero costume and flaunting my powers, I am damned by their very disruptive nature. Who wants a circuit breakdown or a TV blackout when a super hero walks in? 
No matter, I just need to channelize the powers the other way around. Ermm, maybe I am a prospective villain, after all villains do have super-powers too, the negative kind! But I don't wanna get bashed up and locked away in phantom zones or mirror dimensions for eternity, do I? No sir! 
I am aware of my powers and for the universal good, they shall lie buried - The secret of a wannabe super-woman - Electro-Magneto-Neutralizer Super Momma!

On a parting note, I'll never scorn or shoo away a black cat, I know how she feels, to be wielding the yin part of a super-power!


 Image source: Flickeringmyth