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"To expect the unexpected shows a thoroughly modern intellect." - Oscar Wilde

Monday, 30 October 2017

With Great Power comes Great Responsibility

With the latest Marvel movie about to hit the screens on 3rd Nov'17, I am being personally tutored to understand the background stories and specific super powers of the various characters in the movie. I love super-hero fantasy movies as much as the person next to me, save my mom who doesn't understand what the whole fuss is about! I was so aggravated at having to explain to her that the man on screen could burn holes with his vision, fly and lift loads the size of the earth while kissing his girl. And yes, yes that's a DC movies hero, I know! Hmm, when I know all this why are my kids hell-bent on tutoring me? Just so that I don't nag them while watching the movie about, who's this, why is his hair short, didn't he have an evil brother, why are they friends now, what's his power exactly....!! Yes, life has come a full circle, I am now a certified, pesky, under-informed parent myself.

Hmmph! Little do those brats know of the in-house super-power! Arghh, no I don't mean the dad! Well, he does have this incredible power - To go into REM sleep state in less than 2 seconds. But no, I am talking of a much more technologically advanced being...moi!

Raised eyebrows, disbelieving smile, a snigger, oh yes, I can imagine you're doing all of that. But what can I say, it just happens to be the truth.

Curious are you?
Well, might as well be out with it, this post is after all meant to uncover the new challenge to Gal Gadot and any other Guy Gods!
So, wait for it, I have this amazing, Power of Technology Manipulation and Disruption (PTMD)! Wow or what? You no comprenez? Okay lesser mortals, it is the power to disrupt electronic/electromagnetic signals.

I've been doing it unknowingly for years, blaming it on everything from freakish coincidences to plain sabotage. But with age comes wisdom (duh!), so I eventually caught on. What exactly does this power do, you wonder? Well in lay terms, I can tamper with electronic gadgets anywhere within a radius of 5-10 feet of me. Currently, my powers are limited to disabling devices/ gadgets but I am sure there will be a yang to every yin, and it is just a matter of time before this super-mom hones and fine-tunes her power to desired results. Imagine with a swish of my hand, all gadgets come to life, purring in a contented hum...instead of dying on me!

I fondly recollect how it all started; with simple feats of the tubelight fusing out when I switched it on, the hot plate getting short circuited, the doorbell falling off when I rang. Aww, the wonder years! Over the years, I have bamboozled desktops, laptops into crashing irrevocably, camera memory cards getting corrupted, mobile phones losing battery charge faster than you can take a leak, the entire house fusebox breaking down....and so on. 

It is hard not to brag, but since I've started the ball rolling, let me proceed. I believe my powers have now expanded sufficiently to operate remotely. I can jam TV channels! Yes, it is true! I just need the intent. I just need to relax, settle down to view a program, and unconsciously enjoy it. Voila, the channel just blacks out. All other channels will work perfectly, save for the channel I  want to view. Mind you, this is not a one time event! I have achieved this consistently over several channels, service providers through so many years now! Ahh, the travails of having super-powers, of having to sacrifice watching and enjoying movies with the family! 

Speaking of family, a burden I hold to my chest is the fact that I haven't come out about my secret with them. You know how it is, Spiderman, Superman, Batman, all these chaps keep their super-hero lives a secret from family, to protect them. Well, I am keeping the secret from my family to save....myself from their wrath! After all, it doesn't hold you in good stead to reveal that you are the reason the laptop crashes so often along with the long line of gadgets that keep falling sick, sometimes fatally so! When any such calamity strikes, we all wisely nod our heads in resignation and say, "We are fated to bad luck with all gadgets!"

Much as I fancy sporting a fancy, non-latex-custom-made-for-Indian-sizes, super hero costume and flaunting my powers, I am damned by their very disruptive nature. Who wants a circuit breakdown or a TV blackout when a super hero walks in? 
No matter, I just need to channelize the powers the other way around. Ermm, maybe I am a prospective villain, after all villains do have super-powers too, the negative kind! But I don't wanna get bashed up and locked away in phantom zones or mirror dimensions for eternity, do I? No sir! 
I am aware of my powers and for the universal good, they shall lie buried - The secret of a wannabe super-woman - Electro-Magneto-Neutralizer Super Momma!

On a parting note, I'll never scorn or shoo away a black cat, I know how she feels, to be wielding the yin part of a super-power!

 Image source: Flickeringmyth

Saturday, 28 October 2017

Make the Shift from House to Dream Home with #TATA99HomesFestival

They were sitting in the backseat of the taxi, tired out after the day long house-warming party they'd just attended. Nina was quiet and Nikhil found it strange. "Hey, all okay?" he asked. Nina simply nodded and continued to stare blankly at the fleeting landscape of towering buildings they passed by.

The cab stopped at a traffic light. Nina looked out and the shining lights from a first floor flat caught her eye. The house had an exotic balcony filled with beautiful plants, glowing with fairy lights. There seemed to be some kind of party on. She could see the silhouette of people moving about behind gauzy curtains. The taxi started and Nina let out a little sigh. Now, Nikhil was really worried. "Babe, what's it? What's wrong? Why so quiet?" Nina decided to open up and tell Nik what was bothering her.

"Nikhil, it's been twelve years since we got married. Neel is ten and Varun eight. You've stopped having those blasted transfers. We've shifted nine houses in these years. I've seen neighbors not warming up to us, right after we tell them we've moved in on rent.
I am so tired of drifting around, not belonging to any place. I want to stop worrying whether we can drill nails on the wall or keep wishing we could have the walls painted before the festive season. You know how much I love decorating the house, but in a rented place, it all seems futile. Don't you think it's time we laid anchor? Change from a rented HOUSE to our own DREAM HOME?"

Nikhil's brows furrowed in worry as he realized Nina was genuinely upset. Many of his friends had settled down in their own homes years back while he was shunting about due to job transfers. He hadn't told Nina that he'd been secretly researching the real estate scenario, ever since he'd had a permanent posting. But the homes available seemed either too small, too far away or way beyond their budget. It seemed like they were destined to live in rented houses all their lives. The cab dropped them off and the couple made their way to the flat, each wrapped in his own thoughts.

A week later, while browsing the net, an ad caught Nikhil's eye. He couldn't believe his eyes! He couldn't wait to share his excitement with Nina. "Hey, Nina, come here quickly will you?" Nina came around to see a visibly thrilled Nikhil pointing to his laptop screen. As Nina went through what Nik showed her, she couldn't help screaming out, "Oh my God, oh my God!!! This is too, too, too good! We can do this, right, right Nik?" 

"Yes, yes we can baby! I am confident we can easily afford this and the options are so good. Great construction, wonderful locations and best of all, it comes from such a trust-worthy name! I don't think we can get a better deal than this!"

Nina was practically dancing with joy. "Can you imagine Nik, how cool it would be to live in our own home? Not have a nagging landlord, or an indifferent one...no landlord! Woohoo! My own home, to do what I please with it! Can we please have lavender for our bedroom and turquoise for the boys? And lots and lots of plants, wind-chimes in the balcony, furniture from that darling online website I've been eyeing forever, a beautiful pooja-corner and, and....oh, there are so many things I've been dreaming of for my own sweet home! I think we should go in for a 3BHK, that would be so much better when parents come over, don't you think?" Nina simply couldn't hold still and eagerly went to inform the boys. Nikhil in the meanwhile registered himself on the website. He couldn't help smiling from ear-to-ear; they would finally be having their own dream home. He went to join Nina and the kids as they all rushed to hug him. 
Hooray, dream home, here we come!
Now, dear friends, is your story somewhat similar to Nina and Nikhil's? Are you dreaming of a home of your own but too traumatized by the heavy down payment, EMI's, escalating property costs, wary of big promises and under-quality construction by unreliable builders? Don't you wish you could get your dream home, just the way Nina and Nikhil did? Aren't you simply dying to know what magical site Nikhil visited? 
I won't hold up the suspense any longer!

From a brand name that has been trusted across generations, here comes an unbeatable offer!

Tata Value Homes has come up with its #TATA99HomesFestival as the answer to your prayers!

99 Homes
99 Hours
upto 99% Funding 
Discounts upto 19 lakhs*

*Discounts vary from property to property across TataValueHomes properties.

Now if that isn't a jaw-dropping offer, I don't know what is!

You know what makes this offer unique? 
  • Where else will you get upto 99% funding for buying a home? You need to shell out just a teensy percentage of project cost as down payment and voila, you are sorted. 
  • Their hassle-free, customer friendly options, loan procedures and great discounts will be a blessing to home-buyers.
  • Homes in great locations, that come with the strong credibility of the TATA group with respect to construction and quality amenities.
  • Even if you are an existing home-owner, this opportunity makes perfect sense for you to invest money in considering escalating property rates, and watch your investment appreciate exponentially.

Affordability, Minimum Down payment, Maximum Funding, Hassle-free procedures, Quality Construction, Great Amenities, Value for Money and the Trust-worthy Guarantee of the TATA group of companies.

THAT dear folks, sounds like an exceptionally unbeatable offer! 
So what are you waiting for? 
If you want to move into that dream home, you've been putting on hold for so long, don't wait any longer.

Head right over to the Tata Value Homes website
Register yourself at http://bit.ly/TATA99HomesFestivalBC and watch your dreams come true!!


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