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Saturday 6 August 2016

Sweet Temptations

Today's blogging theme on #Day4 of #BarAThon is 'Caught Red-Handed'.

The phrase caught red-handed is used to indicate that a person has been discovered in or just after the act of doing something wrong or illegal.

The possible instances when one can be caught red-handed presented themselves to me.

1) Being caught in an act of crime.
2) Catching someone planning/discussing an act of crime.
3) Being caught with literally one's pants down in an act of debauchery.
4) Planning to apprehend someone carrying out an out-of-bounds operation or mischief-making! (A classic example being, Candace the over-wrought sister whose sole aim in life is to catch her two brothers Phineas & Ferb red-handed while executing their over-the-top experiments in the backyard and exposing them to Mom!....Yes, I watch this cartoon too!)
5) Gathering evidence to apprehend someone who vehemently disputes his crimes with irrefutable proof. (This one was suggested by my friend Tulika e.g. videotape evidence to prove, the husband snores!)
6) Being caught/catching in the act of surreptitious gluttony.
7) Catch some one spying/ogling.
8) and more: Please feel free to suggest!

So what happens when you are caught red-handed, say in an act of surreptitious gluttony? (God forbid that you have to resort to clandestine kitchen raids to pacify that diet-starved, growling tummy!)

Let's make the scene more graphic shall we?

It's midnight and you are out there in the kitchen, rifling through the refrigerator to tuck into that last gulab jamun. The one you refused at dinner seeing your wife giving you that warning glance. Thoughts of that vile blob of calories had made it impossible for you to turn in. To appease the little monster in your tummy you are forced to ransack your own refrigerator at this unearthly hour.....such are the times!

Just as you jubilantly dip your fingers into that bowl of syrupy nectar, the overhead lights turn on! Your eyes are having a hard time squinting and adjusting to the sudden harsh glare and your heart-beat has accelerated to a dangerously high 150 beats/min or more!
The sight of the nightie clad, hair-rollered wife, hands on the hips with that 'Aha-caught-you-didn't-I' smug look on her face further escalates the alarm!

Ann....nd freeze! Let's freeze the moment and go over what happens next in ultra-slow-motion.

You mumble, mutter incoherently, laugh self-consciously, the noise sounding pretty in-congruent in the situation. The ceiling crack and the flooring pattern seem equally interesting and worth introspection. Mentally, you are cursing yourself for the poor timing, the blasted gulab-jamun, the cursed diet-plan, the wretched weighing-machine, the over-bright fridge-light and a million other things that led to this moment! 

You are also wishing for a few miracles, a) Being swallowed by Mother Earth into her deepest chasms - not likely that she will oblige, since you remember you didn't sign-up for the last eco-friendly drive in the society, b) A flying carpet or an invisibility cloak....but damn you didn't inherit anything beyond a rusty old trunk filled with junk! Even a handful of Sandman's dust would be welcome to sedate your glaring adversary! But sighh! You realize no such magical interventions are possible. 
Shoulders hunched, head drooping you pull your fingers out from the sticky syrup bowl and are about to assume your sheepish look and deliver a full-blown apology.....when something clicks!

It is a Eureka moment for you! Self-righteousness and Assertiveness have just arrived to your rescue! Accompanying them are the minions Instant fibbing and Dramatics. Hallelujah! 

Shoulders thrown back, head erect, hands slip back into the bowl and with a look of sheer annoyance you deliver, "You startled me! This is the last one and I am not sharing it with you. My blood sugar took a dip and I got all woozy." You pause momentarily for effect and are satisfied to see the smug face in front of you, turn to a worried one. You masterfully plough on,"Thankfully I remembered this little devil in the fridge. Now don't stop me....I may go into a coma if I don't have this right now!" 
And there goes the gulab jamun to it's justful end. 
Pah! So much for being caught red-handed! That was a cinch, wasn't it?

I am with Team #CrimsonRush for the #BarAThon from Aug 1st - Aug 7th.
Thanks dear team mates for pushing me for this post!  
You could find out more about this lovely blog marathon at BAR.

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