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Wednesday 19 August 2015

My Bed of Dreams

 A dream bed - Image source

Sh#$ its morning again! I drag myself awake from a troubling slumber, wondering not for the first time whether it would be better to switch places with hibernating animals or Kumbhakarana - get the entire year's sleep in one go and keep vitally awake the remainder of time?! Not fulfilling my required quota of sleep is becoming a rather traumatic issue in my life. I halfheartedly tear myself away from the warm cocoon of sheets and wearily waddle off on a stiff back to the bathroom.

Having recently (a year does qualify as recent doesn't it?) done up my bedroom, I am yet to purchase a new mattress for my bed. The new Master bed is a regal King size, with a beautiful headboard, a bed I had always dreamed of!

The logic behind going in for this monster-sized bed was that,
a) If the kids ever felt like camping down with us - we had the requisite space,
b) To have enough space between the two of us so that my constant tossing and turning and his snores didn't disturb either! 

The new bed arrived and was thankfully made to aspired proportions and design.

The hitch came when I realized the bed came sans mattress! Eager to sample the pleasures of the new acquisition yet overwhelmed by the idea of spending more time, effort and money to procure a new mattress, I pondered my situation….

It was a stroke of pure luck that I chanced upon a sudden treasure that I knew not existed in my abode! It was a pair of mattresses made of pure cotton from the days gone by; that too precisely the size to fit my new Master bed!
I recollected that it belonged to my parents, was roughly forty years old, stashed inside the box storage of the kids beds. I had borrowed it from them many years back when they lived nearby and when I had a lot of sleepover guests at home. What an ecstatic find! Reduce, Reuse, recycle...yayy!

Time to redecorate…. I was buzzing about the to room, back and forth! The Master bed was duly appointed with antique-vintage artifacts - the perfectly sized forty year old pair of cotton mattresses! 

Really no one makes stuff like this nowadays, that lasts this long I mused. They weighed a ton each, probably the reason why my parents had never mentioned retrieving them! The mattresses fit the Master bed perfectly and I gloated at how expansive the bed now looked!

Now a few words about the new antique mattress, it was undoubtedly an heirloom, which I prized. I only wished it offered comfort worth its weight which as I mentioned earlier was a trifle too much. Being made of cotton, it tended to get lumpy at oft used spots. When my son joyfully bounded upon it on my announcement that I had finally got a new mattress for the bed....his tush received a rather rude and hard welcome from the old matelas!

Good airing and sunning can do wonders to cotton mattresses declared Google! So the old-revered were duly aired and sunned with a lot of labor, to plump up and revive the sagging ancient....who-knows-maybe-real-Egyptian-cotton!

The cottons revived with all this pampering and doubled in size and I triumphantly launched them back on the bed. 

Well, the old heirlooms held on to some of the fresh air and sun they had imbibed for precisely a day and were soon back to their hardened selves!

My husband and I now had ample space to move about in bed, but no amount of tossing or turning resulted in finding the soft spot our backs craved for! During the day, I draped a thick comforter on it to make it look plumper and inviting, but sleeping atop it, over the mattress....stiflingly hot!!

Google declared that hard beds are the best remedy for back pains and I resolutely stood by this remedy.

It was vacation time at home. My parents had decided to visit us after a long time. I was keeping the newly done-up bedroom as a surprise to show them. They were thrilled to see the beautiful new room I had designed and were raving about the classy wardrobes, upholstery and the marvelous new bed.

They decided to observe the interesting decor changes in the room by settling themselves comfortably on the new bed. Well, it was a shock to them when soft derrières landed on the not-so soft mattress!

I jubilantly declared, "Mom, Dad! Guess what? You are seated on the very same forty-year old mattress I had borrowed from you ages ago; I am using our old family heirloom!" 

I expected them to be thrilled, except now, both of them looked at each other and burst out laughing! My father recovered first and said, "These mattresses came to us from some neighbors who were moving away and we never used them because they were so hard and unwieldy. We lent it to you thinking you would use and dispose it as you saw necessary!"

My family still hopes that someday, the Master bed will be adorned with the latest spring-ortho-coir-memory-foam-God-knows-what-not-mattress, but I am not so sure I will let go of old treasures just like that!

Copyright © 2016 KALA RAVI


  1. Wodehouseque brilliance...a lyrical use of language leaves that Lovely frothy feeling...still smacking my lips...a raconteur par excellence...

  2. awesome read with lots of funny bones inserts.equally good on second time read which u r compelled to do .i really can connect to this n kept imagining the scenes as if all this happening at my home .
    very realistic descriptions which leave u with a smile on your face n laughter pains in your stomach ....keep it up

    1. Thank you so much Ranu for your encouraging words! You can read a couple more of my blogs @

  3. Mind over mattress could be an alternate title to the episode that's made you rave, not having relaxed enuf! Nice and racy stuff kala. Do keep them coming.

    1. Ha,ha,ha.....definitely a good suggestion! Thanks for the pep-up!!

  4. Ha! Ha! You really have a way with humour. The incidents described are so natural that it felt like watching a comedy film...great writing. Congrats!

  5. I have actually bought a mattress shorter than my bed and the extra space kept close to bed post and phones/wallets everything crazy is dumped in it :P


    1. Ha ha ha! Indispensable space isn't it? Thanks for dropping by :)

  6. I really like the look of that bed and the bedroom as well. Looks really inviting. The colors are really calming and relaxing. Kind of looks like a place you'd go to get away on some far off island in the middle of the ocean. I'd love to have a king sized bed. Our kids are always asking to sleep with us, but it's a queen, so there's no way more than two people can sleep on it.

    Dante Storey @ Healthy Bed Store

  7. Haha so funny Kala :) Loved the way you told the tale. I am one for the old and the antique and love the old style cotton mattresses dearly :)

  8. Bedding Stock celebrates its fourth anniversary with a sale. Get 25% off on all mattress collection

  9. This article is so funny. I have been trying to talk my wife into getting a new mattress because I cannot stand ours! She won't get rid of it though because she has some weird attachment to it. Needless to say, the lumps and springs are not worth the nostalgic value. My back will be happier when she decides to let go and we can upgrade!


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